If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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