Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This is my gift to your gina
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
