I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
