I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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