At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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