i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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