You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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