i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
