She said her name was "party"
I think I won the penis lottery.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
