Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
But theres a keg here and me gusta
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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