I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
