I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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