When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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