dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
