When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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