Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
