I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
