he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
