this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
