I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
