Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
