i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
