did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize