I will die if light touches me.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
All the doctor said was why
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