We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
