Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
