Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
