I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
