Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
