Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
