I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
