I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
