Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
