y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
