she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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