Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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