I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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