I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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