Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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