Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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