I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
