Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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