My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
