No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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