this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
