Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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