did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
