Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
