Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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