Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
