You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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