I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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