Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
