Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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