we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize