Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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