your thong is hanging out like whoa
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
