I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
