Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
