Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
