dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
