She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
